23, Married, and Happy To Be That Way.

This was written by my husband in response to the “23 Things You Should Do Instead of Getting Married at 23.”

23 Reasons Why You Should Mind Your Own Business.

The original post made me angry. I got married at 21, and I don’t regret it. She’s making a generalization that all 23 year olds are alike. We are not. I am 23 and I have been married for a little over a year now. This girl does not know me, nor does she know every other married or soon-to-be-married 23 year old. We are not the same.

The decision to get married was mine to make, and it definitely isn’t the best choice for everyone. But I am an educated, self-sufficient woman, and I can do what I want. I will travel if and when I want to, being married doesn’t change that. Being married means that I will always have someone to do those things with, if I so choose. Chris is not a ball and chain, and I am not one for him either. We are partners. We make decisions together.

engagement

 

Some of the things this girl said I should do before I turn 23 are definitely not for me. I have no intention of making out with someone I don’t know or hanging out naked in front of windows. HOWEVER, if I did want to do those things, I would do them. Instead I wanted to get married, and I did that instead. Some people are just ready to get married.

Others hang out naked in front of windows.

 

These are two similar responses from married 20-somethings:

http://whenthegirlmeetsworld.wordpress.com/2013/12/30/young-married-pissed-off/

http://youngcons.com/must-read-young-woman-gives-amazing-response-to-the-23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/

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One Year Later: Happy Anniversary

In October of 2008, I met my husband. I was 17, and it was my senior year of high school. I met him at McDonald’s, where we both worked. We were a match made in fast food hell heaven.

By November, we were dating and I was listening to Jack Johnson’s “I’m Yours” and swooning over my guy. It was magical.

I graduated from high school in June 2009, and was off to college in the fall. I lived on campus, and that made things a little rough at times (my roommate at the time was crazy and made Chris sleep on a 4 foot couch or in the car, and he got frisked my campus police once…), but we made it through stronger than ever.

In February of 2011, I came back to my dorm after class and Chris was a ball of nerves. I asked him what was wrong (he was freaking me out a little), and he said everything was fine and told me to turn around. At this point, I honestly thought he was going to break up with me.

He didn’t.

I did as he asked, and when I turned back around, he was on one knee with a little box in his hand. He asked me to marry him.

I was so surprised, I didn’t say anything! I think I freaked him out a little, but eventually I was able to squeak out a yes when I came to my senses and realized he would like an answer, haha. I was so pumped (and majorly surprised).

On September 29th, 2012, I married that guy. And all I can say is: best decision ever.

So, my dearest Christopher, happy first anniversary. I can’t wait to see what you look like when you’re old.

But for real, I hope I am posting something just like this on my blog (which will be archaic by that point, I’m sure) on this day in 50 years.

Olive Juice.

ringsshoesthegirlsthekissdance 

weddingjumpshot

The Truth About Marriage And Why I Love Mindy Kaling

If any of you are friends with me on Goodreads, you may know that I have been wanting to read Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling. Anyway, I finally got to read it! My handsome husband snagged me this book and I am so glad he did. I loved it and devoured it in less than 24 hours. It was funny (how can it not be?), and real, and made me feel good about me. Her outlooks on life manage to be both realistic and optimistic at the same time, and I freaking love it. How often do those two things come together?

A little background on me and Mindy:

1. I love her. I think if we met, we would be friends. I even tweeted about it once. I believe I actually said ‘best friends’ but, thinking back, that was probably a little presumptuous. I mean, she didn’t even tweet me back.

2. I think she is a genius. She has to be.

3. I love her sense of style, and I find myself thinking about ways I can replicate it and then realizing I wouldn’t have the faintest idea where I would buy half the stuff she wears.

4. I follow her on instagram and I refer to her posts in my daily life.

That pretty much sums it up.

In her book, Mindy talks about reading books a lot, being kind of a weird child, NOT serial dating in high school (or college), being chubby, and having opinions. And all I wanted to do was hug her the whole time.

The best part about reading this book was getting some validation for my views- other people think the same things I think. I’m not crazy. I know it might sound a little insecure when I say I got some validation, but let’s be serious- everyone needs a little validation now and then. I just watched an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch about it.

One of those things is marriage. I know you might be gasping to yourself since I am, indeed, married. BUT, it’s not what you think. Mindy (I feel like I am close enough to her to use her first name, now) talks about divorced people and unhappily married people….AND happily married people. In short, divorced people are mostly nice and even more often feel liberated, unhappily married people warn you against the institution and tell you how much work it is, and happily married people are cool. We are cool because we’re pals.

“My parents get along because they are pals. They’re not big on analyzing their relationship. What do I mean by pals? It mostly means they want to talk about the same stuff all the time.” – pg 185

She continues to stroke my ego by saying this:

“I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun. I want to hear about it because I know it’s possible, and because I want it for myself.” -pg186

THANK YOU. I would definitely get mad at Chris if he watched one of our shows without me (he wouldn’t dare.) I do high-five my husband all the time (we high-fived during our wedding ceremony.) And marriage IS like a recreational softball team you join for fun. I joined marriage for fun, and because I love Chris. A lot of people look at me weird because I am young and married and educated and childless. I married him because I wanted to, not because I had to.

You get it, Mindy. (If you are reading this, you can read all about my awesome marriage by friending me on Facebook, following me on Twitter or Instagram, or following this blog.)